We watch Scarlett O'Hara pass her troubles off to tomorrow - several times in Gone with the Wind.
crunch time
knowing I'll barely get it done on schedule. What does this aberrant behavior pattern mean? And it is a pattern, as you will see.
It's December 1976. I had 2 classes to finish for graduation April 1977 when I gave birth to my precious Garrett June of that year. I choose to finish through home study. Deadline: Must be postmarked December 31, 1976. (Spoiler alert: I am NOT a candidate for self-guided study!)
December 15, 1976 I hadn't started one of the classes yet. I didn't think I could complete the one I had purchased. Thankfully, they let me trade courses and I chose one that I thought I could finish in 2 weeks.
We headed home to my in-laws for Christmas holidays with our new baby. Such fun and celebration that it wasn't until December 26th that I panicked. You see, we were flat broke - the quintessential starving students. (You'd know that by watching how we ate whenever the food was free.) We didn't have cash for another class. I had to finish this one or I'd have fines and fees which we didn't have.
My mother-in-law banished me to her husband's office. I could hear the laughter from upstairs but no one let me join in. "Go study," was all I heard. (Luckily, there was a big tupperware of chocolate dipped cookies stored in Dad's office so I knew all was well.)
I finished the last assignment 3 pm December 31, 1976. How late did the Post Office stay open? Dad grabbed the keys, I grabbed a manila envelope, the assignments and the address. I got everything ready to mail as Dad sped through the snowy roads. We arrive at the Post Office at 3:54 pm. I stood in line, got the package mailed, and noticed a sign on the door as I walked out - Post Office closes early today at 4 pm in honor of New Year's Eve. I made it!! What a rush! What a price - my stress, my husband's stress, missed fun and time with family, and my poor in -aws trying not to distract me.
WHY DID I DO THAT?
I'm part of The Life Coach School Certified Coach program class of May 2018. On May 26, 2018, we were given our syllabus of requirements with a one year deadline for some pretty major tasks.
I basically started April 2, 2019. Cramming a year's worth of effort into 6 weeks. I think I'm going to make it. Pretty sure.
I DID IT AGAIN!!!
One of my faulty core beliefs in action: "I do my best work under pressure." I think I've become addicted to the adrenaline rush of dealing with a crisis. I'm unfamiliar with calm. I get nervous when life becomes quiet. I need the emotional arousal. I need my fix.
They sicken of the calm that know the storm. Dorothy Parker
And yet these adrenaline rushes are exhausting my body and soul. I want to find healthy excitement in another way. Calm is not a synonym for BORING, I'm in adrenaline recovery. I'm open to the possibility that my best work is NOT done under pressure.
But I'm going to the movies with my sweetheart right now. So I'll work on this tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!
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