I was one of those mom’s in the mom uniform – jeans and t-shirts and one Sunday dress.
What did I need to dress up for? I wasn’t naked so - job done.
Usually the jeans were men’s jeans cause they were cheaper. So you know how attractively THEY fit.
In 2008, I started to awaken from a 3 decades long sleep and looked around and saw a whole world out there. My daughter and I attended A New You, a program for women in, yep, Hawaii (feeding my lifelong obsession with the place I now live) and we spent a week learning about all the aspects of being a woman. One attitude shifting topic was appearance.
I had mistakenly thought it didn’t matter what I looked like, just that I was:
- a hard worker
- a spiritual seeker
- an involved loving mom
- a great lover
- and that I kept the family and house afloat.
Looks were fleeting and superfluous. So… the mom uniform and hair with the obviously omitted makeup. Who has time for makeup?
(Wait, I’ve timed it since then. On and done in less than 5 minutes. Hmmm...)
One day I heard a beautiful, immaculately groomed woman (that I had secretly misjudged as superficial and worldly) say,
“I decided to believe the scripture that says I’m the temple of God who houses His spirit. I’ve seen temples. They are gorgeous. Only the best materials are used to build them. Unmatched craftsmanship used to sculpt the adornments. Skilled painters used to trim areas with gold. If that’s a physical representation of what I am, then I want my “temple” to be gorgeous, using only the best materials (food) to build with, sculpting and adorning with skill (exercise and grooming) so that I am a vessel for His spirit reflecting His glory.”
That was a ponderful moment. (I know that’s not a word but I like it.) I gave what she said much thought – usually in the middle of the night after calming a baby in my standard nightwear - old t-shirt and sweats.
It was a few more years (ok, I think 17) before I took her wisdom to heart. At A New You, I looked around at wives and mothers with “planned” outfits. They weren’t hand-me-downs from their mothers (the source of most of my clothes) or second-hand items (although I’ve found some incredible finds there if I look carefully and often) or simply something to cover their nakedness. It looked like fun to mix and match and accessorize. The women who looked the most put together were really fun to be with. And they seemed to have an enthusiasm for life I had felt slipping away from me.
They gave me a new toy.
Choosing my wardrobe. I discovered cute and stylish wasn’t more expensive. Adding the recommended 8 points of accessories became a game for me. I had never purchased accessories – again just relied on hand-me-downs from my mom and sister. I found incredible pieces I LOVED. Now when I travel, the hardest part is not being able to bring all my jewelry.
I learned about colors, dressing my truth, makeup application, and hair styles (still stymied with braiding my own hair – all the blood pools in my elbows! Tips, please?)
Now I wear bright colors daily, often dresses. I’m not saving the pretty things for special occasions. I’m awake – that’s an occasion special enough. I realize I can be careful with my grooming and not become prideful and vain but grateful and confident as I care for my “temple.” And now I’m ready for that spontaneous invitation to… just about anything!!
Let’s do lunch! I’m ready.
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