My kids are parents - now what?!

Obviously I parented in the absolute very best way.  Otherwise, I would have, of course,  done it differently.  I've accepted that I did the best I knew how with the information I had at the time. Hindsight is 20/20.  Perfect vision looking back.  If we could only channel a little crystal ball. And I still stand by most of my parenting decisions.  By their fruits.  My adult kids are amazing humans.  I'm honored I get to play with them on this earth.  They look amazing, right?

But doggone it - why don't they raise their kids the way I raised them???  

It's hard not to take it quite personal.  They should be doing just what I did so they can have amazing kids, too. And don't they look in the mirror and see how amazing my kids are?  It is no mistake, coincidence or luck of the draw.  There were strategy meetings, entire library parenting sections consumed, parenting classes, summit meetings with the other moms on the block ands worn out knees from prayer.  (Both my knees and one hip have been replaced, if you think I'm kidding!)

But they aren't raising their kids the way I would or even close to the way they were raised.  Right down to telling their kids Santa is real.  (I never could lie to my kids about anything including Santa.  I didn't want them to grow up and assume that at a certain age they would find out God wasn't real either.) 

And I don't have a crystal ball but having lived with and launched teenagers, I know that certain discipline measures at 8 will create a 15 year old that you cannot tolerate.  I can see the path that action will lead them down as a parent and I know they won't like the destination.

But my hard won wisdom is not requested at all by some, very rarely by others, and occasionally my counsel is wanted, needed, and heeded by a few.  I know so much but no one wants it!!!

So what do I do now that my kids have kids?  I received this counsel once -

"Only give advice if they have requested it at least 3 times on the same topic.  And only then."  

Frozen the movie, a film my daughter described as "Crack for toddlers," has my grandma theme song, "Let it Go."  And I do most of the time.  Let it go and let my kids have their turn learning to parent. 

And then there's the times when I am compelled by some unseen force to tell them what I know - and I tell them exactly what to do and why.  It's an EF Hutton moment (remember that add? Google it) but the room gets silent not because

 "When mom talks, the kids listen." 

More like "When mom talks, put your shield up and plug your ears and hum."

So why do I try?  Because those precious grandkids will be forever affected by the actions of their mom and dad.  And I want the kids to have the best chance possible to become just as amazing humans as their parents.

And sometimes my kids listen.  I remember that one time....

I think I'll write a book.  Maybe I can help someone else's kids who aren't listening to their mom.