Self-care is care of self. Pampering is indulging in attention, comfort and kindness, to spoil yourself.
Pampering, like the girl's night out, can be part of self-care but is not the whole essence of caring for self. I think we women have forgotten how to take care of ourselves.
We are good at taking care of a variety of life forms. We take care of multiple strangers we invited to come live with us (gave birth to or adopted), we care for their father, their grandparents (all 4 of them), the dog, and sometimes a hamster or two (they sure seem to die easily. My granddaughter is on hamster #4 in 1 year - all named Mitten1, 2, 3, and now 4.) and possibly a goldfish (brought home from a birthday party hosted by a sadistic mother sending me yet another life form to keep alive.)
I dread Mother's Day every year - fearing I will be given a plant at church that I will inevitably forget to water and I will have living proof of my neglect when it dies on my windowsill. I wish they'd stick to chocolate. Come on, Mother's Day committee. You can NEVER go wrong with chocolate. Godiva, please. Thank you.
With all the lifeforms we keep alive, we forget ourselves the most. What kind of rating do you get for keeping yourself alive? Body, mind, soul. I fear our report cards would get us grounded in my home growing up.
I find it intriguing that when life gets uber full, the first thing to go on a woman's list is exercise (no time), eating healthy (no time) and sleep (again no time.) But we are L'O'real ladies - we are worth it! And we promise that when things slow down we will - take care of us.
Our bodies and minds have a way of forcing us to slow down and return to self-care when we ignore and neglect ourselves long enough. Illness, depression, disconnect from God are the side effects of abandoning us.
Over the years, doctors and counselors had told me I needed to manage the stress in my life and I'd ask them, "Which of the kids should I get rid of?" I really didn't understand that managing was not eliminating. That's impossible. Life is stress - some happy, some not so. But the way we deal with it will determine our health through it.
I went through the MnM technique of self-care with at least a pound a day washed down with a 2 liter of Wild Cherry Pepsi. That was good for 60 pounds and all the health ramifications from that.
When I pushed myself beyond rational activity for enough years in a row, my adrenal glands shut down. I no longer had the choice to burn the midnight oil - I couldn't physically do it. For almost 4 years. That's how long it took to repair the decades of ignoring my needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I was forced to sleep in, nap, learn to meditate, acquaint myself with new ways to manage stress, and eat regular healthy meals.
After I recovered, I didn't learn enough because since then I've had a 3 knee replacements and 1 hip, and several other health crises that again have caused me to re-examine self-care not as a response to an emergency but as a part of my daily routine.
So what are self-care things we can do BEFORE we are forced to? Here's some ideas I have tried:
- Sleep - 8 hours at night and a nap when exhausted. Sacred. No negotiating. (I have 30 minutes to get this blog done and get into bed because I REFUSE to give up self-care to write about self-care!)
- Eat - whole plant based goodness the way God created it on earth for us. And remember, chocolate really is NOT a food group! Although a little dark 80% cacao is really good for you! I knew science would catch up with what we women already knew!
- Groom - time yourself. 5 minutes, 10 minutes tops and you'll feel like a different person.
- Dress to shoes first thing - no more slumping around in slippers all day. Get ready and you'll be amazed at the people and places you'll get to enjoy because you are ready.
- Flowers - buy yourself some. I stopped waiting for my husband to buy me some. I buy myself a beautiful bouquet every Friday.
- Explore alone - could just be the library to read a magazine. Just you and your purse. No errands, no carpool - just you and time to explore and see what comes up.
- Hot baths - of course. With bubbles and scent and a great book with maybe your favorite drink.
- Meditate - get a fun app on your phone and make it happen. I love Headspace.
- Move - do something active you enjoy, maybe play softball if that was your past love, but just move.
- Indulge is a favorite show - have you tried Downton Abbey? It took me years to try it and now I'm obsessed. There are 9 seasons! Don't bother trying to get your hubby to watch with you. This is just for you.
- Hobbies - I love playing the piano. What is your love? Art, dance, sculpting, baking, sewing. Make time, get it set up and enjoy it 15 minutes a day
- Worship - at home, at your sacred places, in nature, and commune with your Creator
- Say NO - give yourself permission to say NO when it will take more than you have to give, or you just don't want to. When you do, you teach your daughter's how to say NO - a skill they will need.
Take the time to put you back on your To Do list. That's real self-care. Doing for you what you would do for your best friend. And not requiring things of you that you would NEVER ask her to do. And when you want to - go get a Mani/Pedi to pamper yourself - you know, the self you've been caring for and getting to know and love.
Comments
Post a Comment